When the world is a monster     Bad to swallow you whole     Kick the clay that holds the teeth in     Throw your trolls out the door    

The One-Legged Sandpiper

   March, 2009   

     Sunday, March 1, 2009     

Chief Meteorologist John Belushi
In Like A Lion

Out like a... worm-eating fernbird?

Chevy Chase: Last week [on Weekend Update] we made the comment that March comes in like a lion and goes out like a lamb. Now here to reply is our chief meteorologist, John Belushi, with a seasonal report.

John Belushi: Thank you Chevy. Well, another winter is almost over and March true to form has come in like a lion, and hopefully will go out like a lamb. At least that's how March works here in the United States. But did you know that March behaves differently in other countries?

In Norway, for example, March comes in like a polar bear and goes out like a walrus.

Or, take the case of Honduras where March comes in like a lamb and goes out like a salt marsh harvest mouse.

Let's compare this to the Maldive Islands where March comes in like a wildebeest and goes out like an ant. A tiny, little ant about this big. [holds thumb and index fingers a small distance apart]

Unlike the Malay Peninsula where March comes in like a worm-eating fernbird and goes out like a worm-eating fernbird. In fact, their whole year is like a worm-eating fernbird.

Or consider the Republic of South Africa where March comes in like a lion and goes out like a different lion. Like one has a mane, and one doesn't have a mane. Or in certain parts of South America where March swims in like a sea otter, and then it slithers out like a giant anaconda. There you can buy land real cheap, you know?

And there's a country where March hops in like a kangaroo, and stays a kangaroo for a while, and then it becomes a slightly smaller kangaroo. Then, then, then for a couple of days it's sort of a cross between a, a frilled lizard and a common house cat.

[Chevy Chase tries to interrupt him] Wait wait wait wait. Then it changes back into a smaller kangaroo, and then it goes out like a, like a wild dingo. Now, now, and it's not Australia! Now, now, you'd think it would be Australia, but it's not!

[Chevy again tries to interrupt him] Now look, pal! I know a country where March comes in like an emu and goes out like a tapir. And they don't even know what it means! All right?

Now listen, there are nine different countries, where March comes in like a frog, and goes out like a golden retriever. But that- that's not the weird part! No, no, the weird part is, is the frog. The frog- The weird part is-

[Belushi has a seizure and falls off chair]

Danger Kitchen Online Cookbook

The Potato Egg Breakfast is
"In the book"

      This new recipes has been added to the Online Cookbook and the new index at the top of the cookbook will help you find what you're looking for easier. The recipe is in the Squalid Splendor, Breakfast and Comfort Food sections.

      Old issues of the Sandpiper are being restored one by one. Sandpiper number 3, News From the Front 2/6/99, is back online and contains the first mention of food in a One-Legged Sandpiper; Blackened Ostrich Burgers. The first ever Danger Kitchen recipe, @#$&% Beit Bros. Out Of Salmon Chicken , is back online in Sandpiper number 6, The One-Legged Sandpiper 2/12/99.

      The URL www.dangerkitchen.com is registered and now points back to the One-Legged Sandpiper. Danger Kitchen might soon walk on its own. Stay tuned for more.

Back on Track

Changes for the better, finishing old business and some new features!
The One-Legged Sandpiper

      The Sandpiper has undergone some major changes since its birth more than ten years ago. In fact today is the tenth anniversary of issue number fifteen; In Like a Lion. That was back in the day before the rolling blog format Any way... The latest change is an improved calendar at the top of the page that gives you a quick mouse over summary of what's up for that particular day. I'm back to the most recent format of having a month and a day on the home page. You'll notice entries for February 1, through March 1, 2009. Over most of December, January and February there was the better part of two months or more at once due to me falling way behind around Christmas. March will see the last of the Christmas entries I wanted to make. Christmas is an important time of year for me and I had a lot to say about it.
      The archives are still set up the same way at the top of the page. The only difference there is that as days drop off the home page they will still be available on the calendar. The archive days will appear in a darker color on last month's calendar and will get you right to the archives. Don't worry if this all doesn't make sense. There's no test. Just play around with the calendars if you feel like it. You'll figure it out.

     Monday, March 2, 2009     

One-Legged Sandpiper Update

Bringin' Back More Old Stuff

The One-Legged Sandpiper The 07/05/99 Sandpiper, #28, The Wicked Wind of the West, is back on line. This one is the last of the easy ones to restore. There are only three more complete old issues after this and one that was under construction when the Dark Ages began. Number 29 was the start of the framed multi-page format that got away from the original primitive blog setup. Number 28 has garden and lumber dryer damage from a freak hail storm and a review of someone else's outdoor furniture. Shop Notes has a porch column replacement project for a Victorian house in Tivoli, New York and there's a big Green Side Up section with lots of landscape gardening going on around the Church. There are photos from trips to Tivoli, New York and Newport, Rhode Island and a little info about a new motel that opened just down the road from the Church. Beach material includes a lifeguard tournament in Monterey Beach, New Jersey and from Ocean Beach we have a new surfboard, "red skies in morning... sailors take warning" and a Barnegat Bay sunset. It's back to Tivoli, New York for project house pictures and a great church building, not that I need another one. Here's the Church has part four of the history of the United Methodist Church of Attawaugan and there's the biggest Danger Kitchen yet. Learn to make C.W.S.L.O.G. (Chicken With S**t Loads of Garlic), the Collins Brown Sugar Pie, Howard's Macaroni Salad With Tuna and see a bunch of pictures showing you how to make a Portuguese Clam Boil recipe. Finish up with a bunch of links and Sandpiper News: News about the news.

Stories and rumors from Danielson, Connecticut
Where evolution is a two-way street


     Tuesday, March 3, 2009     

Rush & Tush 2012

Austin McCain... Yeah Baby!

Yeah Baby!!!

Clear and Present Danger

The Most Memorable Presents From Days Gone By

      If you were a product of the sixties you were all about the presents. Yeah... They tried to tell you about the birth-of-Jesus thing sometimes... But it was all about the presents. Some I remember like it was yesterday. These are more of those.
      Just a reminder to anyone reading these "Present" entries that wasn't born in the years 1958 through 1962 or thereabouts. A toy generation, like a cartoon generation, is about four or five years long, not the 25 years typically allotted to a human generation. Things change quickly and nothing seems more foreign or ridiculous than toys or cartoons from another "generation". I'd have no sooner ridden a Big Wheel than wear a dress when I was 8... The year they came out. So you may be alarmed by the primitive caveman-like technology used in some of these toys if you're younger than me, or scoff at the flash-in-the-pan cheesiness of the same if you're older than I am. Either way... They're MY most memorable presents so get over it.

      This "Clear and Present Danger" was due to appear in the Sandpiper on December 30, 2008 but it was not to be due to all sorts of issues and time constraints. Here it is now. There's still quite a few more to go. Favorite toys are very important things in life.

      Tinker Toys bridged the gap between erector sets and Lego. You could build some pretty great things with them. There was always that last piece of one size that you needed to finish the wind mill or space station and it had been stepped on and the end was caved in and it kept slipping out of the hole in the wooden hub and the whole structure would fall apart as a result but... They were still great. The green plastic wind mill blades were good for picking your teeth with. I think they made giant ones at one point but I may be thinking of the giant erector set you could build a go-cart with.

“Stinker” toys were great any way you looked at them.

      Few things are more All-American than a train set. When you set it up on carpet there is always the danger of the track being damaged by someone stepping on it but you have to set it up near or around the Christmas tree any way. I never did get a layout built. There was one in the basement of Christol Street when we moved in and it was pretty cool but it got scrapped and that was that. I'd rather have had the old one than none at all. There was grass and trees and houses and trestles and a gate that never worked on the road that went to nowhere but it was still a little world unto itself. I liked the rail yard part of it best of all. One of these days though... One of these days.

      Piston engines go (boing boing boing noise) but the Mazda goes (Mmmmmmmmmm Noise). If you remember that commercial you remember how the rotary engine was going to revolutionize the auto industry... Or not. This was the visible version of the Wankel rotary engine that first appeared in the Mazda RX-7 I think. The model was cool enough but never quite worked as expected. I guess in that sense it was an accurate representation of the rotary engine.

I always wanted a visible V-8

      Wow... I could have had a V-8. Look at the kid's hair. How about the dad's jacket and tie... And PIPE!!! The kid looks like he's really into it in that innocent kid kind of way. The dad looks shifty. I always wanted to build one of these. Ever since building the dual V-8s for the Mysterion model. What's with the dividers on the table in front of the model? The dad may be using those on the floor plan of the local armory to plan an insurrection of some sorts. I knew I didn't like him the second I saw him.

These were great in the tub or pool.

      If it was the sixties you had to have these to play with in the bath tub. They were ok but the set didn't have a flying sub. You had to have the flying sub.

Squirmles the... ah... lame thing.

      Wizzer was a top basically. You ran it along a flat surface to set the internal flywheel spinning and the gyroscopic effect allowed it to do some pretty surprising things. After a while the bearings would start to go and they would make a strange buzzing sound and then the plastic outside would start to spin. One thing you never wantet to do was put the spinning nylon roller at the base in your hair. Everybody was sporting that Partridge Family hair back then and the wheel would instantly grab a wad of hair and wrap it around the spindle towing the Wizzer up tight against your skull and if you were lucky only rip out a small chunk of scalp... Or so I've heard happened... To some kids... Somewhere other than where I lived... Those kids lived there they did. The ones that did that thing with the Wizzer. Dumbasses!

     Wednesday, March 4, 2009     

Little Richie Weasel Rich Weasel Update

Tales of a pathological liar in Darwin's Leach Field

Click here for a printable version of the Rich Weasel update       I must be out of the loop in Darwin's Leach Field these days. I just recieved a copy of this. I call it the latest Rich Weasel update. Seeing as he's Spinning Chicken's new bestest buddy it seems appropriate that we read about him here. Rich stole most of the rent money that the Rain Desert paid from his dad so the building his dad bought with cash was or is in danger of foreclosure. How can a building paid for with cash be in foreclosure you ask? It seems Rich squandered the better part of $200,000.00 during the "renovation" process and his dad needed to mortgage the building and his house to pay for it. I bet his dad doesn't know about the thousand of dollars worth of equipment Rich bought, and didn't need ,just to show off. I bet he doesn't know how most of it ended up as scrap or resold. It doesn't matter. All of the money is gone anyway. Where? Who knows?

      I can't wait for the new night club to open... After all... Rich knows everything there is to know about running a night club business. Did you know he owns the Palladium in Worcester? He owns the Sistine Chapel as well. Painted the ceiling he did! Look for the latest in:



     Thursday, March 5, 2009     

Green Side Up
G r e e n    S i d e    U p
The Herb Garden
T h e    H e r b    G a r d e n

The Herb Garden...
Survived the winter... Barely!

     The herb garden was a small island of success in a sea of turmoil last year. The cold frame was completed just in time to save the plants from the first frosts and every one except the basil was still fresh and green well into January. An avalanche of snow from the roof of The Church caved in the top of the cold frame and the period of sub-zero temperatures that followed was tough on the remaining plants but the first inspection since New Years revealed evidence for hope.
     The next task will be to carefully remove all of the dead stems and take stock of what survived and what didn’t. The flat parsley transplanted from the beach looks like it died. Two of the compartments need to be topped up with soil. I need to plant scallions, basil, cilantro and possibly flat parsley. There were two empty compartments last year and one needs to have savory planted in it. The other may be for a bay laurel (bay leaf) plant if Logees ever gets some ready. I have the scallion and basil seeds so I just need to get cilantro, chervil and savory... And maybe the bay laurel for seven or eight bucks from Logees. They're right in Danielson. The greenhouse is worth visiting. It's like going to the jungle any time of year. That will have to come inside with the rosemary next winter. Just seeing a sign of new growth makes all of the effort last year seem worthwhile. We'll be seasoning with fresh herbs again in no time. By October last year I was able to pick a nice sized bunch of herbs every time I went to the beach... What would be thirty dollars worth or more every trip. This is a Squalid Splendor success in every sense of the word.

Number Herb Type
1 Thyme Perennial
2 Rosemary Annual
3 Mint? Annual
4 Basil Annual
5 Lavender Perennial
  Catnip Perennial
6 Chervil Annual
7 Scallions Annual
8 Parsley (Curled) Perennial
9 Sage Perennial
10 Parsley (Flat)
(Beach Parsley)
11 Dill Perennial
12 Chives Perennial
13 Chamomile Perennial
14 Empty (Savory) Annual
15 Tarragon Perennial
16 Oregano Perennial
17 Marjoram Perennial

     Friday, March 6, 2009     

A Kelly Kollage
Life is Simple... Eat, Sleep, Fish


One-Legged Sandpiper Update

Bringin' Back the Oldest Stuff

The One-Legged Sandpiper This is the first web page I ever published... Ten years, two months and 10 days ago today. I remember it like it was yesterday. I had a Packard Bell computer set up on the bar at 12 East Barnegat and used pictures from my first Polaroid digital camera. The subject was the beach of course. It seems only fitting that this page is revisited on Kelly's birthday. When this was published it would still be quite a while until www.one-leggedsandpiper.com was born but the die was cast that night in Ocean Beach. You can see this page and more beach material in the soon to be revised Ocean Beach section of the One-Legged Sandpiper.

Ocean Beach    

Sunset 12/24/98

Click any image on this page to download

     Saturday, March 7, 2009     

Little Richie Weasel Rich Weasel Update

Tales of a pathological liar in Darwin's Leach Field

Click here for a printable version of the Rich Weasel update       Now I know I'm out of the loop in Darwin's Leach Field! I just received a copy of this. Yet another Rich Weasel update. Seeing as he's Spinning Chicken's newest bestest buddy it seems appropriate that we read about him here. It seems like Spinning Chicken must be running out of people that are desperate enough to put up with the likes of him. It seems like only yesterday Rich was bad news due to taking thousands and thousands of dollars for work and doing nothing for it and writing himself checks out of the "company" till and making off with cash rents paid... Things like that. What could have happened?

      The Siren's song was too sweet for El Corrupto to resist so they're thick as thieves again. This time the net result will be McFarty's night club in the former Rain Desert digs. You know... The abandoned building at 13 Water Street. I wonder if the other participants have any idea what they're getting themselves in to. I bet not. I wonder if Kelly and I are still cartoon characters on the beam in the bar. I bet not. Well no matter what, a wedding is a celebration and we should still wish these two crazy kids the best of luck though... They're going to need it. Look for the latest here or in:



We have two kinds of apples.
Apples and pineapples.

S p i n n i n g     C h i c k e n     U p d a t e
Spinning Chicken

      Reports of Spinning Chicken's behavior have been coming in left and right from all over town. He's known as a demented obnoxious idiot everywhere in Killingly and people love sharing their Spinning Chicken stories. The problem is his behavior was becoming increasingly twisted, perverse and offensive and stories about that behavior don't really belong in the Sandpiper. The Chicken needed its own coop to roost in. AND... As of a week ago... There is such a place:

Be sure to visit

      This new website is a place to fully explore all of the lying, cheating, stealing and stalking that goes on in the twisted world of Spinning Chicken. We'll all miss Chicken Chimp (above) but he has a new home as well. There'll be notices in the Sandpiper about new entries in spinningchicken.com for everyone that's interested in following the idiotic trials and tribulations of the world's biggest fool.

Stories and rumors from Danielson, Connecticut
Where evolution is a two-way street

Don't forget

     Sunday, March 8, 2009     

The Luck of the Irish
Comes In Two Colors

Good luck on a birthday beach walk.

     These pictures were taken at Ocean Beach, New Jersey before and after a beach walk. I've been taking beach walks since I was old enough to remember. My Aunt Em McNally showed me what sea glass was and didn't need to explain why it was important to collect it. I just knew... And have been doing it ever since. Kelly and I collect sea glass every time we walk on the beach. We try and get at least a short walk in every day that the weather allows. We look for anything of interest but mostly sea glass and "purples". Purples are pieces of shells that have purple on them. They can be holy purples if they have holes bored in them, orange purples if they have orange as well as purple on them, and the rarest of all: holy orange purples. Seeing as Friday was Kelly's birthday a beach walk was all the more important.
     We have a protocol that has evolved for the process. When you find a piece of glass you call out the color, show it if it's a particularly good piece, and pocket the results. "Purple!" means a purple and gets handed to Kelly. It's not competitive per say but... Can get a little dicey when blues or other rare colors are involved, like reds or yellows or purple glass. Kelly's victory dance would look right at home in the end zone of a football field. Her luck was good that day and she found a piece of purple sea glass. Purple is even rarer than red and blue seems downright common compared to purple.
     There should probably be a beachcombing program on the Travel Channel. I'd watch that before I'd watch any reality TV or sports. It seems to be a very noble activity... existing for its own sake and not requiring any special equipment. I suppose after a beachcombing show was launched that some one would start selling beachcombing attire and gear and there would eventually be competition between professionals and that would suck all of the fun right out of it. Then the government would get involved and we'd need permits or licenses and there would be limits. Maybe we better leave well enough alone.
     Beachcombing plays a significant part in The Mosquito Coast with Harrison Ford. There are a number of reasons that this is one of my favorite movies; mostly the scenes where the family survives on the beach by beachcombing, which brings me to the point of all this. Recent events may tend to indicate that the apocalyptic end of civilization as we know it is only a few percentage points away from where we are now. Our new president offers the best hope we have but I fear that if he is unable to undo in months the mess that took years to make, that the collective impatience and stupidity of the American public will swing us back towards the direction that got us here in the first place and finish us off. In the post apocalyptic world, it seems likely that sea glass may be the new currency. If that's the case... I'm the new world's Warren Buffet.

     Thursday, March 12, 2009     

McFarty's Shamrock "McFarty's" Takes A Commanding Lead McFarty's Shamrock
in the Name The Night Club contest.

But the contest isn't over yet. Check out the latest entries at www.spiningchicken.com.

Don't be tardy Marty...
Party hearty with McFarty!!!

Recognize the doorman?

Party Hearty With McFarty
This gassy little fellah would make a great spokesman for McFarty's.

I can see the lecherous old leprechaun behind the bar now...
Leering at all the women and farting like a ruptured gas main!

Saints preserve us Chief O'Hara... Saints preserve us!

Please Note: This nightclub name contest is not associated or affiliated in any way with The Argyle Rhinoceros at 49 Cottage Street in Danielson, Connecticut. That club already has a great name and local authorities have been assured it is NOT a gay club. Not that there's anything wrong with that -{Seinfeld}, Jerry Seinfeld.

Whoops! I made a stinky.

     Friday, March 13, 2009     

Danger Kitchen
Danger Kitchen

New England Clam Chowder

It can be more than paste and water with a clam dunked in it.


1 pound of shucked clams (20-30 in the shell).
2 quarts clam juice from steaming them open.
1/4 pound salt pork chopped fine.
2 medium onions finely chopped.
6 stalks celery with leaves halved lengthwise and chopped.
4 medium baking potatoes in 1/4 inch or so cubes.
1 12-16 oz package frozen corn or 4-5 ears fresh ("OBR" optional but recommended).
1/2 bunch fresh parsley chopped fine.
2 bay leaves.
1-2 TBSP fresh thyme finely minced.
Fresh ground black pepper.
1/2 pint Heavy Cream.
1 quart half and half.
1 stick of butter.


1) Preheat heavy bottomed stock pot.
2) Skin the salt pork and chop finely.
3) Add the salt pork to the pot and stir constantly for two to three minutes to fry evenly.
4) Turn the heat way down and cover the pot while you're locating and prepping the other ingredients.
5) Peel and chop the onions and add to the pot after the salt pork has browned and rendered most of its fat.
6) Turn the heat up and stir the onions frequently while getting the celery ready.
7) Slice the celery in half lengthwise and chop. Add to the pot when the onions are translucent and stir.
8) Cover the pot and get the clams ready.
9) Slice the whole clams in thin slices and then chop finely. Random chunks are OK.
10) Add the clams to the pot and pour in the broth.
11) Cover the pot, turn up the heat, and get the potatoes ready.
12) Wash the potatoes and peel if you like although skin-on is fine.
13) Cube them into uniform sized cubes as much as possible.
14) Add the potatoes to the pot with the corn if desired.
15) Add the herbs (except parsley) and lots of fresh ground black pepper.
16) Cover the pot and simmer for 30 minutes or so until the potatoes are barely tender.
17) Add the parsley and simmer for ten more minutes.
18) At this point you can decide how you want to proceed. If you're likely to serve most or all of the chowder immediately or in the next day or two, add the dairy. If not set aside the portion of the chowder base to cool and freeze and use a corresponding percentage less of the dairy products.
19) Turn the heat off and let the chowder base cool for a few minutes.
20) Stir in the heavy cream and half and half slowly.
21) Drop the butter on top and heat gently until just barely starting to simmer.
22) Stir the butter in just before serving.
23) Sprinkle servings with fresh ground black pepper "FGBP" and/or fresh chopped chives or parsley or scallions (optional).
24) Serve with oyster crackers or bread.
25) If you're using thawed frozen chowder base you thaw it and bring it to a simmer and pick up at step 20. It freezes better without the dairy or you can use the base to proceed to Manhattan Chowder.


Just in case this isn't good enough as it is... Try adding chopped crisp fried bacon to the pot or bowl just before serving. Use whole baby corn for a change or try adding chopped asparagus, Brussels sprouts or artichoke hearts after the corn to give the soup a completely new character. Sherry in the serving bowl can be nice or try a splash of stout for a different richness. Experiment on small amount so you don't mess up the whole pot. Garnish with croutons, crumbled bacon, chives, parsley or chopped scallion greens. Add chopped fried and drained Chorizo or Chourico for a Mexican or Portuguese variation.


     When I think of chowder I think of Manhattan clam chowder. When you grow up in New Jersey at the shore, or anywhere else in the state for that matter, Manhattan is the chowder that you eat. When I moved to New England I was subject to bowl after bowl of lousy Manhattan or "Red" chowder as they call it because they put no effort into it. I finally needed to make some for myself and grew to enjoy it if it's done well. Left to my own devices I would still make Manhattan exclusively but Kelly prefers New England or "White" chowder. I also enjoy Rhode Island chowder which is a clear broth. No matter what you have to use fresh clams and it is well worth the effort clamming to get them.


The 28th annual Great Chowder Cook-Off is happening Saturday June 6, 2009 in Newport, Rhode Island. Check out some chowdah.

The Danger Kitchen Uncle Pat's Clam Chowder recipe. Manhattan chowder... The real stuff!

www.dangerkitchen.com Danger Kitchen has a home.

Danger Kitchen is brought to you by The One-Legged Sandpiper.

     Sunday, March 15, 2009     

Monarch's Reign

Purple Cone Flowers Rule

      The butterfly picture was taken last July 25 at Oakdale Farms in Rehoboth, Massachusetts. I was doing a photo shoot about locally grown produce for an advertising flyer and spotted a large clump of Kelly's favorite flowers. As I was getting ready to take a few shots of the flowers a Monach butterfly fluttered into the flowers and stayed just long enough to get this shot. Kelly has had it on her cell phone, with Pork Chop, ever since. Since Ocean State Joblot had Burpee seeds on sale for half price I figured that was a good excuse to try and grow some purple cone flowers this year. That and the Herb Garden will probably be it for any Green Side Up activity this year.

     Monday, March 16, 2009     

Tuesday, March 17, 2009
     Happy Saint Patrick's Day Y'All     

When it's smoking it's cooking... When it's black, it's doneIt truly is a dangerous kitchen

Danger Kitchen Online Cookbook available.

Serving Soup to Nuts for... oh... a couple of weeks now anyway.

Danger Kitchen Corned Beef and Cabbage
Danger Kitchen
Corned Beef and Cabbage
May your dishes be done before the Devil Know's you're eating

May your dishes be done before the Devil knows you\'re eating      Corned beef and cabbage is another one of life's simple pleasures. Corned beef and cabbage can be rather bland... It can be overly salty... The corned beef can be tough and stringy or the vegetables can be over cooked and mushy. This just shouldn't be so. If we give this dish the attention it deserves, it can be an event worth repeating on any special occasion.

     It's said that every one wishes they were Irish on Saint Patrick's day. After you try corned beef and cabbage the danger kitchen way, you'll wish every day was Saint Patrick's day.

     Corned beef, is actually pickled beef, and was never intended to be eaten right out of a nitrate laden brine in a cryo-vac bag. Pickling was simply a method used to preserve beef with no refridgeration. Pickled beef would have been soaked in water prior to use to draw the salt out. Simple chemistry tells us that solutions always move from higher to lower concentrations when given the opportunity. If we change the water frequently to reduce the concentration of salt, more will be drawn from the beef. There's no reason we can't marinate the resulting milder beef to give it more flavor, and the resulting flavorful broth should be cooled, have the fat skimmed off and be strained and filtered to yield a broth with all of the desired flavor, and none of the fat and crud found floating in most corned beef and cabbage. The vegetable should be put in at the proper times to assure that they're done, but not completely turned to mush.

     Corned beef Danger Kitchen Style is a little more trouble than dumping a bunch of ingredients in a pot and boiling them... But you'll see the results are worth it.

This is a Danger Kitchen original recipe.

Just hope there's no potato famine This recipe should serve four hungry Emerald Islanders


> 4 pounds flat cut corned beef. Double the amount for leftovers for sandwiches.
> 3 pounds carrots.
> 3 pounds onions.
> 1 head of celery.
> 1 large bunch parsley.
> 1 head of garlic.
> 1 bottle dry white wine. Have two just in case.
> 4 TB picling spices.
> 1 tsp black peppercorns.
> 1 TB mustard seed.
> 1 tsp whole cloves.
> 2 large bay leaves. Spice Islands are the best.
> 3 pounds potatoes.
> l medium sized Rutabaga.
> 1/4 pound butter.
> 1 large head green cabbage. Or try small heads of red and green. Oooh!!!!


Six Days Before Serving

> Cover the corned beef with water in a large bowl.
> Cover the bowl and keep in a cool place, or the refridgerator.
> Rinse the corned beef and change the water twice a day for three days.

Three Days Before Serving

> Drain and dry the corned beef.
> Place the corned beef in a large bowl or Plastic Bag.
> Chop 1 Lb carrots, 1 Lb onions, 1/2 head celery, 1/2 bunch of parsley and 1 head of garlic peeled.
> Add the vegetables to the Bowl surrounding and covering the corned beef.
> Add 1 TB mustard seed, 1 tsp cloves, 1 tsp peppercorns and 4 TB Picling spices.
> Cover with white wine and keep covered in a cool spot for 2 days.
> Stir to mix ingredients twice a day.

The Day Before Serving

> Put the contents of the bowl in a Large Pot.
> Add enough water to bring the level up an inch.
> Cover and bring to a boil. Reduce heat and simmer for four hours. > Remove from heat and cool over night.

Show Time Minus 4 hours

> Skim the layer of fat from the broth.
> Remove the corned beef and Strain the broth into another pot.
> Discard (or eat) the vegetables.
> For extra clear broth, filter through coffee filers.
> Return the corned beef to the broth, cover and bring to a boil.
> Reduce heat and simmer for two hours.
> Trim the carrots, cut them in half and add them to the pot.
> Peel the rutabaga, cut in eighths and add to the pot.
> Add the onions, peeled and left whole. Keep the pot covered and simmering.
> Simmer for an hour.
> Put the potatoes in, whole if they're small, halved or quartered if not. Simmer 15 minutes.
> Add the cabbage and finely chopped parsley. Simmer until the cabbage is tender.

Serve with butter, herb butter, mustard and or horseradish or horseradish cream sauce.
Danger Kitchen Beets & Cheese and Saint Patrik's Day Seed Bread go well with this meal.


> Add Hot or sweet pork sausages with the carrots and onions.
> Add Kohlrabis or small turnips.
> Make gravy from the broth.
> Make bread sauce to serve on the side.
> Add heavy cream just before serving.

Recomended Beers:

Visit the official Guiness website     Tradition would dictate Guiness Stout, but you might want to try an Egan 1916 Irish Stout, A Bass Caffrey's Irish Ale, Burlingame Station Emerald Irish Ale, Behans' Irish Brew Number One, Irish Times Finn McCool Red, Bemish Genuine Irish Stout, Murphy's Murphy's Genuine Pub Draught Irish Stout, Blitz-Weinhard Henry Weinhard's Blue Boar Stout, Jasper Ridge Galleger's Irish Stout, Gottberg's Irish Porter, Oliver's Irish Red,Marin Irish Red, Sonoma Irish Red, Rubicon Irish red, Upstream Irish Red,Bootlegger's (Bakersfield) Irish Red, Water Street Lake County Irish Red, Murphy's Stout, Butterfield #11 Irish Stout, Wasatch (Park City) Irish Stout, Egan Gray Irish Style Ale, Title Town's Johnney "Blood" McNally Irish Red or a Gooese Island (Lincoln Park) Kilgubbin Irish Ale.

Danger Kitchen 3
     Soak the corned beef in water for at least three days. it's not meant to be eaten like this. It's pickled beef!!!

     Put the ingredients in a Zip-lock bag to conserve wine... For drinking. The corned beef should be kept cool while marinating, but doesn't need to be in the refridgerator.
Danger Kitchen 4

Danger Kitchen 5
     This is what the marinade should look like. Lots of vegetables... and just covered with wine. Add wine as it's absorbed by the other ingredients.

     Place all of the ingredients in the marinade into the pot to make the stock and pre-cook the corned beef for a few hours.
Danger Kitchen 6

Danger Kitchen 7
     Add enough water to cover the vegetables by about two inches. Use chicken or beef stock if you like to add flavor.

     Strain the resulting broth into another pot with the corned beef. Allow it to cool over night and skim the fat the next day. For very clear broth, strain a second time through a coffee filter although this step is not necessary.
Danger Kitchen 8

Danger Kitchen 9
     Don't dump all of the ingredients in the pot at once. Add then according to the length of cooking time required. Cabbage last of all. Don't under cook your cabbage. It should be a little soft for this dish.

  Other Corned Beef And Cabbage Recipes Online  

Stephanie da Silva's Recipe
The spicing suggests non-Irish influences, but it still looks good.

Twice-Baked Potatoes Irish Style

Corned Beef & Cabbage Potato Salad

Corned Beef & Cabbage
Dawn McCune

  Remember... It truly is a dangerous kitchen  

     Wednesday, March 18, 2009     

Spinning Chicken

S p i n n i n g    C h i c k e n    U p d a t e

Fodder for Fans of the Freaky Fowl

Tales of a Dangerously Demented Dumb-ass in Darwin's Leach Field

      In this update Rich Weasel blows his last opportuity to suckle at the evil teat, Davey the prodigal son has fallen from grace and the new night clubbers still don't know they're dealing with the Saddam Hussein of cow birds.

Rumor #1

ccording to multiple sources close to the rats nest, Spinning Chicken was actually foolish enough to give Rich Weasel a credit card to purchase material for renovating the "night club". Surprise of all surprises... Rich Weasel apparently made numerous cash withdrawals and more than likely bought all kinds of useless crap in the process. It sounds like he's now banned from the whole situation and will soon be living elsewhere. Sounds like a setup to me. Giving the Weasel a credit card is like putting a cookie on the nose of a poorly behaved dog. He'll start to whine and his hind legs will tremble and as soon as you turn your eyes away he's got the cookie. He just can't help himself. First he can't pretend he's part owner of the Times Square, then he can't pretend he's the owner of the Rain Desert. NOW... he's persona non grata in the building his dad bought to keep him off the street. Quite a wheeler dealer that Weasel!

Rumor #2

pparently the same fate has befallen the prodigal son Davey. It seems like only yesterday that Spinning Chicken was introducing Davey as his son in the pizza restaurant and today Davey seems to be living in one of the trailers in the back of the former Rain Desert parking lot sans water and electricity. One has to wonder what his transgression was if any. My guess is that either Rich Weasel talked him into ripping off the Chicken with him... Or Rich lied the lies that liars lie and took Davey down with him just to make it look like he's not completely responsible for his own predicament. Either way... There are two more teats available now. Batter up!


pinning Chicken probably set Rich Weasel up to get rid of him and it may have worked. If I had to guess I'd say Davey was collateral damage. It's hard to picture the Chicken getting rid of someone he can treat like an indentured servant unless there was a real good reason and Rich more than likely sucked Davey into his plan... If only in the form of a pack of lies. The best part is that the other "partners" in the "night club" probably think they've scored a victory by getting rid of Rich Weasel. Little do they realize that the only buffer between them and pure evil and chaos has now been banished. They are now alone in the nest with the cow bird hatchling from hell. Let's wait and see how long it takes the Chicken to screw them out of all of their time and money and ruin another potentially successful business with his lying, scheming, plotting, planning and lying. Oh... I said lying twice did I? How fortuitous. It seems like he's already talking sh*t about his new business "partners". Time to turn the egg timer over again.

Stay tuned For More


     Thursday, March 19, 2009     

Kelly with Monty Python

This is a picture of Kelly getting to know the Poop Head's new pet Python. Even the blurry cell phone picture shows what a great looking snake this is. With more handling this could be a very social snake.

     Friday, March 20, 2009     

Caught and Released
Gus catches a break two years ago.

      I love to eat fish. I love to cook fish and create fish recipes. I like catching fish. I'm not so excited about fishing for fish. If they're biting and I'm catching I'm fine with that. Kelly on the other hand loves to fish... And everything else follows behind in importance. She is absorbed by the thrill of the hunt and all of the strategy and paraphernalia involved in that hunt. Today she called and wanted me to look up when flounder season started in New Jersey because if flounder season was on then she would pay the extra money for blood worms since the cheaper sandworms weren't available close enough to make it worthwhile and if it was flounder season she would buy flounder hooks to fish for both flounder AND blackfish with bloodworms at the mouth of the Point Pleasant Canal. Flounder season was rumored to start early for the weekend but didn't start until Monday so there was no point in fishing for flounder with blackfish hooks because their mouths are too small and blood worms are too expensive or some other reason I lost track of. The point is I don't have the patience for all of that. The other point is Kelly loves to fish and has caught some really impressive fish up here in spite of being a New Jersey based salt water fisherman (woman). The next fishing pictures will be of Kelly catching Cher (She was tired of catching Sunny), a big Large Mouthed Bass from Quinnebaug Reservoir. She's been getting her CT license for two years now and it's becoming a yearly ritual.

     Saturday, March 21, 2009     

Stories and rumors from Danielson, Connecticut
Where evolution is a two-way street

      In this Darwin's Leach Field update we learn about a plot for revenge on top of a long lived conspiracy and the likely convergence of a perfect storm of characters hell-bent on evening scores and leveling playing fields... And Spinning Chicken is the demented denominator.

Rumor #1

t seems likely the two recently desperately "depatriated" Spinning Chicken flunkies have been stealing from the Chicken for more than a year. They took advantage of access to the Christmas Crap Factory to amass a collection of Christmas crap whenever Spinning Chicken went a stalkin'. The plans are to sell the ill gotten garbage on EBay if that hasn't been done already. supposedly the stash, or what's left, is hidden somewhere onsite at McFarty's and as soon as the prodigal son has access to another computer they'll begin to sell off said Christmas crap.

Rumor #2

he two recently desperately "depatriated" Spinning Chicken flunkies are conspiring to derail the liquor permit application process for McFarty's thinking that when that license fails to materialize that McFarty's will be no more and they will be able to stay in the building happily ever after... Or at least until foreclosure. After all... One of them knows everything about running a night club and owns the Palladium in Worcester, Massachusetts and the Sistine Chapel... The one in Italy and they'll be able to open their own club now that the building is "all fixed up". Get ready for some fun!

Rumor #3

ohn 5 may be showing up to claim what he feels is his share of the McFarty's action thanks to the two depatriots. Seems like the Chicken rubbed him the wrong way big-time... What a surprise! He's had such a positive effect on everyone he comes in contact with it's hard to picture him offending one of the guys he tried hiring to "take out" the guy he evicted from what is now the Whirling Twirling Blinking Stinking Flapping Crapping Family Restaurant. Hey... Come to think of it... Aren't there two names on that restaurant? Isn't one of those names now connected with a soon to be gone travel trailer in the parking lot of McFarty's? I hear the money from selling the Christmas Crap Factory crap will end up paying John 5 for "services rendered". What a tangled web was woven while we watched with wonder.

Rumor #4

ohn 5 may have an Achilles heel. Seems his brother ( you mean he wasn't hatched from a snake egg? ) has been lying in wait for John 5 for years and may be local. 5 admitted this after a huge number of Dark 'n' Stormys around the fire when Kelly was visiting last. Seems like the only human on the planet John 5 is afraid of is his brother. I hear they're twins. I thought he looked familiar.

Don't forget

     Sunday, March 22, 2009     

A Very Lucky Hermit crab

     Crabby fans have been asking about our favorite crustacean since his rescue at the Rez. He was still active in December and we decorated his tank with a small string of lights for Christmas. He even had a tiny Christmas tree in the corner with tiny presents around it. He didn't seem to notice. One day shortly after New Years he buried himself in the sand completely. He stayed buried without a trace of activity for close to three months. We kept misting his tank to keep it humid and even checked for a telltale smell... Just in case. The worry has proven to be for nothing. Today Crabby emerged unceremoniously from his burial mound having completed a successful molt. To make matters even more amazing he has regenerated his big defensive claw that was probably lost during his abandonment at the Rez. According to Kelly he didn't seem interested in food yet but "romped around a little" and was very camera shy. He's a very lucky hermit crab.

Sunset at the Rez
The first one after work this year!

      There's just something about a sunset at the Rez. Like sunset at Barnegat Bay... I never get tired of seeing one. Thursday night was the first time I was back from Providence before dark and diverted to the Rez for an hour to grab a few pictures and see the last light of day disappear behind the low hills to the west.

     Monday, March 23, 2009     

     Tuesday, March 24, 2009     

Stories and rumors from Danielson, Connecticut
Where evolution is a two-way street

      In this Darwin's Leach Field we learn about what's NOT wrong with Danielson in spite of local opinion to the contrary.

The mama pajama rolled out of bed
And she ran to the police station
When the papa found out he began to shout
And he started the investigation

      Since taking up temporary residence in Danielson and observing some of the... "Situations" shall we say here, I have attempted to think analytically and constructively about what the problem may be. I have plenty of theories and there are plenty of culprits. I've written about the topic here before. A common direction to point a finger I've noticed is the Danielson Resident State Troopers and their alleged ineffectiveness. I have multiple personal experiences that involve said law enforcement officers that prove beyond a doubt in my mind that this accusation couldn't be farther from the truth. In other words... It's dead wrong. My examples follow:

Example #1:

n April 2001, the 21st to be exact, an AWOL ex marine broke into the entry hall of my home in Dayville while I was working on the computer in the living room about eighty feet away. I thought someone had broken a window outside so I headed out the door with the cordless phone and a negative reinforcement object. I found that the perpetrator had locked himself into the entry hall and, according to the report filed, was "held at bay" by the property owner (me) until police arrived... This was about a minute and a half after I called 911. And in another minute after that two more cars arrived... So in less than three minutes there were enough officers there to handle five guys.

Example #2:

n August or September of 2005 I had my cell phone stolen off of the bar in a commercial building I was renovating in Danielson. I made a call just to go through the motions, in my mind, and within what only seemed like a few hours had my phone back, delivered in person by one of the resident troopers. I had a stolen cell phone returned!!! When does that EVER happen???

Example #3:

ast year I got jumped by two twenty-something scum-bums in the dark behind my building next to the railroad tracks. I had just come from the bright light of the upstairs apartment kitchen into the pitch black of the tracks side of the building and was at a big disadvantage for a couple of minutes. The two of them did their best punching and kicking for a minute or two while I couldn't see a thing. Someone across the tracks called 911 and by time I was starting to get my night vision back and mount a defense the cavalry had arrived and the turd-bags bolted down the tracks. I couldn't have identified them with a gun to my head except one lost a hat in the scuffle. In 45 minutes the issues was solved with an arrest and that was that. 45 MINUTES!!! How can you beat that kind of response?


his is why I was annoyed when I found out one of the resident trooper's time was being wasted trying to track down whoever is responsible for creating the Rich Weasel updates that have been distributed far and wide around Danielson and featured here three times in the past. I'm still looking for my copy of the first one that appeared so I can put that one online. It holds definite clues as to who the culprit may be based on who the subject is. The Rich Weasel updates could have just said "Beware of this creep. He will lie to you and set you up to steal money from you without shame or remorse and do it as many times as he can before he moves on to the next victim and then make up a bunch of lies about how it's your fault his life sucks" The resident troopers should be commended for arresting him a number of times... So far. They might be getting tired of Spinning Chicken's crap by now as well. Ya gotta love Karma!
Don't forget

     Wednesday, March 25, 2009     

Green Side Up
G r e e n    S i d e    U p
The Herb Garden
T h e    H e r b    G a r d e n

     Thursday, March 26, 2009     

     Friday, March 27, 2009     

     Saturday, March 28, 2009     

Stories and rumors from Danielson, Connecticut
Where evolution is a two-way street

Clarification: The Name the Night Club Contest is being conducted on behalf of a small but earnest group of investors intent on purchasing and renovating the former Rain Desert and Riverside building at 13 Water Street in Danielson, Connecticut and opening a well run and dignified business that Danielson and it's citizens would be proud to have in their town. The investors are planning on offering a cash prize to the contributor of the best suggestion so no more "Name withheld by request" entries please. This is serious folks and you could win money so... Keep it clean and dignified. Humor is fine and even encouraged. Danielson needs more businesses it can be proud of to complement the "small town USA" feel of our Main Street business district. Main Street Danielson is part of a unique American phenomenon that shouldn't turn into a fading memory. Forget the "burbs" and urban sprawl...

The future is down town!!!

Please Note: This nightclub name contest is not associated or affiliated in any way with The Argyle Rhinoceros at 49 Cottage Street in Danielson, Connecticut. That club already has a great name and local authorities have been assured it is NOT a gay club. Not that there's anything wrong with that -{Seinfeld}, Jerry Seinfeld.

Don't forget

     Sunday, March 29, 2009     

A Very Lucky Hermit crab

      Crabby fans are always asking about our favorite crustacean since his rescue at the Rez. Crabby has gone from unlikely to survive another week in the wild, injured, starving and traumatized to thriving in the six months since his rescue. He now seems to be healthy and active after molting under a mound of sand in his fish tank for most of the winter. We all remember hermit crabs being sold for pets and most came in a tiny cage with instructions indicating that all they needed was a tiny dish of cornmeal and a bottle cap full of water to survive.
      The truth is that these are intelligent and complex little creatures that are captured in tropical climates and transplanted to hostile environments and sold for next to nothing to people unfamiliar with their requirements. They need a varied diet and mineral supplements to keep them healthy as well as fresh water to drink and salt water to bathe in. They need a warm moist environment, a place to hide, sand to dig in or bury themselves in and they love to climb. They need a selection of shells to live in and will try on shells like a high school girl trying on prom dresses given the opportunity. So keep checking in to follow the continuing saga of Crabby, our own Dr. Zoidberg here, as he finds his way in the world. They seem way smarter than most people assume they are. Check out this text from a cnn.com article:

(CNN) -- New research suggests that crabs not only suffer pain but that they retain a memory of it. The study, which was carried out by Professor Bob Elwood and Mirjam Appel from the School of Biological Sciences at Queen's University, Belfast, looked at the reactions of hermit crabs to small electric shocks. It was published in the journal "Animal Behaviour." Professor Elwood, whose previous work showed that prawns endure pain, said his research highlighted the need to investigate the treatment of crustaceans used in food industries.
      Hermit crabs have no shell of their own so inhabit other structures, usually empty mollusc shells. In the research, wires were attached to shells to deliver the small shocks to the abdomen of some of the crabs within the shells. The only crabs to get out of their shells were those which had received shocks, indicating that the experience is unpleasant for them. The research suggests that this response is not just a reflex, but that central neuronal processing takes place. Hermit crabs are known to prefer some species of shells to others and it was found that that they were more likely to come out of the shells they least preferred. The main aim of the experiment was to deliver a shock just under the threshold that causes crabs to move out of the shell, to see what happened when a new shell was then offered. Crabs that had been shocked but had remained in their shell appeared to remember the experience of the shock because they quickly moved towards the new shell, investigated it briefly and were more likely to change to the new shell compared to those that had not been shocked.
      "There has been a long debate about whether crustaceans including crabs, prawns and lobsters feel pain," said Professor Elwood in a press statement. "We know from previous research that they can detect harmful stimuli and withdraw from the source of the stimuli but that could be a simple reflex without the inner 'feeling' of unpleasantness that we associate with pain. "This research demonstrates that it is not a simple reflex but that crabs trade-off their need for a quality shell with the need to avoid the harmful stimulus. "Such trade-offs are seen in vertebrates in which the response to pain is controlled with respect to other requirements. Humans, for example, may hold onto a hot plate that contains food whereas they may drop an empty plate, showing that we take into account differing motivational requirements when responding to pain. "Trade-offs of this type have not been previously demonstrated in crustaceans.
      The results are consistent with the idea of pain being experienced by these animals." Previous work at Queen's University found that prawns show prolonged rubbing when an antenna was treated with weak acetic acid but this rubbing was reduced by local anesthetic. According to Queen's University the findings from both studies are consistent with observations of pain in mammals. But Professor Elwood says that in contrast to mammals, little protection is given to the millions of crustaceans that are used in the fishing and food industries each day. "More research is needed in this area where a potentially very large problem is being ignored," said Elwood. "Legislation to protect crustaceans has been proposed but it is likely to cover only scientific research. Millions of crustacean are caught or reared in aquaculture for the food industry. "There is no protection for these animals (with the possible exception of certain states in Australia) as the presumption is that they cannot experience pain. "With vertebrates we are asked to err on the side of caution and I believe this is the approach to take with these crustaceans."

Stories, rumors, facts and fiction from Danielson, Connecticut
Where evolution is a two-way street

Frequently Asked Questions

Question: You say you're "for" Danielson but this website seems to be making fun of Danielson. How do you explain that?

Answer: If the website was www.danielsonisareallygreatplace.com or www.thehappylittleelvesintinkleywinkleytown.com then nobody would even give it a second thought would they? Admit it... You came here to dig some dirt. You see... Honesty is important. Start with why you're reading this and we'll move on from there. Danielson has problems and pretending it doesn't won't do anyone any good. Does that mean we can't have a sense of humor about it? Of course not!!! We all joke about it. "It's in the water."; "I wouldn't want to dive into the shallow end of that gene pool." etc. People here joke about it and people everywhere around us joke about it AND... Tend to avoid Danielson as a result. Pretending everything might get better without us all working to fix the problem will lead us to oblivion. We have to stop putting up with all the crap that goes on!

Now that I have your attention...

The Future is down town!!!

     Monday, March 30, 2009     

Stories, rumors, facts and fiction from Danielson, Connecticut
Where evolution is a two-way street

$eem$ like there'$ a $u$piciou$ $tory $preading around the $treet$ of Daniel$on... Al$o known a$ Darwin'$ Leach Field. $omeone $aid $pecifically that Tea-Bag is being very naughty with $ome other people$ money. If you think you need to do that lady and germ you $houldn't be bragging about it to virtual $trangers when you don't know who they know. Oop$... I bet $he doe$n't know you did that doe$ $he? Two down... Two more on the way out $oon. Everyone'$ expendable. Folk$ $ure like $hooting their mouth$ off around here... As $oon a$ they walk out of $omeone el$e$ door$. Come on contributor$... Thi$ i$ $o vague it $ounds like a No$tradamo$ prophecy! Detail$ people... We need detail$... And $pecific$.

Now that I have your attention...

The Future is down town!!!